This is an incredibly dramatic story of heartache, technology, violence, premarital sex, and drug use.
Actually, its boring and may have happened to you….
Lindsay: After about a month of dating, I didn’t hear from Jay for three days. That is what this story is about. As I’m sure you’ll be shocked to hear, Jay and I had different opinions about what this meant. At this point in our “relationship” (do you call it that after a month?) we’d been seeing a lot of each other but weren’t “official,” yet Jay had started calling me his girlfriend to his family and friends. He liked the word and liked me. I liked him but was scared of the word.
Jay: The word “girlfriend” sounds nice. It implies so much, like, “I’m a winner” and “I get to see her naked.” It just makes your heart feel good to say that word. However, at no point does that word make me want to call/text small talk to a person I don’t really know that well yet. Plus, I’m a rebel. Isn’t there a rule about waiting 3 days to call anyway? I’m almost positive of that.
Lindsay: So, the weekend began and I heard nothing. Now, Jay works on the weekends and I work during the week, so I had figured that I might not see him. However, once someone starts calling me their girlfriend I expect that 1. If I’m not going to hear from them I’ll know about it in advance and 2. If they’re on their couch with their dog playing video games they can take 30 seconds to text me and say they’re thinking about me. I’m picky that way.
Jay: Now I know how picky Lindsay is. However, at the time I was under the assumption that she was not picky(HA) and needed “Me Time” like I was enjoying. Boy, have I learned a lesson! (Also, let the record show that I did call her. However, it was when she and her sister were in a bar and it was loud and I got off the phone quickly because bar conversations are horrible to yell through a cell phone.)
Lindsay: After three days of radio/phone/text/Facebook silence, I begin to become mildly irate (to put it nicely). WHY would Jay put me through the trauma of being called a girlfriend if he wasn’t prepared to act like a boyfriend? He was the one that wanted to be “together,” and after feeling rushed into THAT I now felt uncared for and unimportant, like an afterthought that was handy to have around, but only when it was convenient for Jay.
I tend to get a little bit dramatic when things don’t go my way.
My girlfriends said I should wait until he contacted me so he’d think I was having an amazingly fabulous weekend with so many fun things to do that I didn’t even have time to think about him. This was the conclusion after hours of hashing and rehashing every single minute detail that had occurred between us since the day we met. What had I done wrong? Had I misunderstood? Did he think he was a large black woman and wasn’t calling me his girlfriend, but merely “girlfriend?” I was at a loss. A sad loss.
Men, don’t be alarmed that girls talk about you lots with their bffs. In fact, be grateful, they’re doing you a huge favor. I believe that for every “issue” a girl has, she has a required amount of discussion time for that issue. What to wear on Friday night, for example, might require 30 minutes of discussion time. What to do about the issue of whether or not to tell you that yes, she really does care that you still talk to all three of your Playboy-model-looking exes on a regular basis might take 5 or 6 hours to hash out. Suppose she talks to her bff about this for 4 hours. That only leaves you 1-2 hours of discussion time on the topic. THANK YOU BEST FRIEND! It’s math. Be thankful. The end. Continue reading