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When Lindsay and I bought our new house, we knew that we would have to build a fence in the backyard in order to keep the dogs from roaming wild through the neighborhood. We immediately thought of a privacy fence, with a handcrafted top, and lovely jasmine growing all over the fence. Then we priced that dream fence out, and realized that it was in fact just a dream. Next we moved onto a chain link fence, and set our dream bar just a bit lower. However, we were going to get a green vinyl coated chain link fence. We thought it would look nicer, and promote our classiness to our (assumingly) jealous neighbors. Then we priced that middle class dream, and it too turned out to be just a dream. I was all set to go out and get some chicken wire and run it around a bunch of sticks, but then I discovered Split Rail Fencing (cue chorus of angels singing)!

A split rail fence is rustic and cool. It’s like having the set of a western movie in your backyard. Why use a bunch of wood, when two rails, and roll of metal mesh is all you need? It really is a simple fence concept. However, I am scared of commitment and a fence is a whole bunch of commitment. Anytime you cement something into the ground…that’s a commitment. So, in order to solidify this commitment I had to make several trips to Lowes, and consult my father twice a day for two four weeks. Even then I had trouble pulling the trigger, but I did! I now have a fence’s worth of wood sitting in my driveway, which is not where a fence belongs.

My fear of commitment is a close second to my fear of failure. Well, it’s not so much that I fear failing, it’s just that I fear failing and then having to fix it myself. Because if I f**k up building a fence, then I’m pretty sure that qualifies me as not being qualified to fix a fu**ed up fence. That’s solid logic in my book. I like having my Dad there to guide/teach me. Also, he’s a rock solid scapegoat if this project should go completely tits up.

Lindsay’s note: What does that MEAN? Aren’t UP tits a good thing?

But mainly, it’s nice to start doing “guy stuff” with my old man. I hope think my Dad is as excited about these upcoming projects as I am. It’s nice to give the elderly hope…plus, if he has another heat stroke then I get a fence and my inheritance (take it easy, my dad loves it when we joke about his mortality)!

I’m excited to start the fence this week. Stay tuned for photo updates and progress reports. I hope to escape this construction project with all of my toenails. The mailbox project took part of my right big toenail on the day we moved in. Never, ever, ever swing a sledgehammer after you’ve been drinking and your father challenges you to “swing it like a man!”

Ok, now go cook something yummy that Lindsay made. You’ll thank yourself later.

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