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Very serious relationship advice: How to survive dating a man who hates anything mainstream

  1. Fein ignorance: If your bald manfriend says “Hey, wanna go see Phish in Atlanta next month?” Say “omg, I’ve heard such great things about the Aquarium! Definitely yes.” Then, begin searching for good ticket packages with such excitement that he feels bad telling you you had misunderstood.
  2. Boxed wine. So much boxed wine, all the time.
  3. Trade: offer something he REALLY doesn’t want in exchange for something YOU really don’t want. “Sweetie, have you ever seen Scarface? I think you’d really like it.” “I’ve been meaning to tell you the same thing about Princess Diaries! Why don’t we watch both this weekend?”
  4. Naps: sometimes people should be apart, and sometimes that’s when Goodfellas is on.
  5. Only suggest sex when he wants to watch sports (if you’re into that kind of thing).
  6. Only suggest sex when he wants to go to a concert you don’t want to see.
  7. Only suggest sex when he wants to watch a movie you don’t care about.
  8. Cry uncontrollably when he suggests going to some hippie concert and say that it was your ex’s favorite band and it would just be so hard to experience that with someone new. Then tell him that going to see Britney Spears would do so much for your mental state.
  9. More boxed wine.
  10. Disguised Threats: “Of course I’ll watch No Country For Old Men with you! We can watch Glee Season 1 right after that, right? I just love that we’re sharing our interests with each other.”

I think the takeaway here is that you should manipulate to get what you want as much as possible and not let anyone know you’re doing it.  It’s the healthy way to go about things.

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